


Histories of Lavellan

by l_e_crivainsolitaire



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, F/M, Lavellan Headcanons, M/M, Mentions of Death, Rape/Non-con Elements, Ry'del Lavellan, Sexual Abuse, Tons of headcanons, gotta weave a character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2016-08-23
Packaged: 2018-08-10 07:03:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7834858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/l_e_crivainsolitaire/pseuds/l_e_crivainsolitaire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Streamlined history of Ry'del Lavellan that goes through his childhood, adolescence, adulthood, and relationships. Part informational biography, part story, please enjoy this companion guide-like tale to further understand Lavellan's motivations and actions. </p><p>Feel free to skip the introduction chapter, as it's more informational narrative than anything. </p><p>Warnings apply to: Ch.2</p><p>Tags to be updated per chapter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Overture

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. Thank you for your interest. This is a labor of love. I wish it is well accepted.
> 
> All of the stories here will be from Lavellan's perspective. On the other hand, the rest of Suns and Moons reflect a variety of perspectives.
> 
> Enjoy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introduction of Ry'del Lavellan.

Ry’del (Rai-dell) was born in 9:16 Dragon to the Lavellan Clan. At his birth, Ry’del came out of the womb crying so loud, it scared the halla that was grazing nearby. Born at noon, with stark white hair, large golden eyes, and warm peachy freckled skin, the clan’s Keeper announced the child was destined for something great.

Ry’del is the second child of four, with his elder sister, Mih’thra chosen as the First in the clan. His two younger brothers, Atven and Athel, have taken apprenticeship towards becoming a healer and hunter, respectively.

Ry’del is friendly but guarded through a sense of humor. At times he can be selfish and insensitive to what’s happening around him. However, he desperately always wants to please and does what he thinks people want of him. Despite all that, he has a curious mind and a strong sense of adventure. His taste for bloodshed is limited, preferring to kill beasts than people. Generally, Ry’del tries to see things out without getting violent, but his lack of confidence in his charisma tends to get the better of him.  

 

  **.6-10yrs [Childhood]**

Ever since he was little, Ry’del had a love for the outdoors. He would play near the woods, a little bit farther than he’s supposed to. There, he would watch animals and observe how they moved. He also observed how animals migrated from one place to the other. His talent was noticed by the clan’s head hunter and had taken an interest in training him to be one. It was shortly learned that Ry’del had a knack for swinging swords—further nurtured when at the age of ten, he received a real sword and practiced with a retired Ferelden soldier near one of their camps. He was a quick learner and his perseverance was well admired by the Keeper.

> _The child is a head shorter than his brothers, but watch, he is strong. He commands the greatsword as if it is an extension of himself. His golden eyes, blessed by the sun, burns with determination. This child is destined for something great. Destined to sacrifice for the greater good of all. The Lavellan Clan will have their names on human lips with the greatness this child will show._

Although he keeps many friends within the clan, his most cherished friend was a young human boy, Blue Trevelyan, who was at least three years older than him. They often sneaked out into the woods and played—climbing trees, picking berries, and watching animals.

 

**.11-17yrs [Adolescence]**

Ry’del and Blue remain good friends throughout their adolescent years. The two would hunt together when time permitted. Ry’del would take down big game through his strength while Blue would do so using poison—much to Ry’del’s chagrin.

The two boys’ relationship made it’s way to their perspective families. The Trevelyan’s became noble allies to the Lavellan’s and trade between the two families happened often. At some point, he caught Blue and his sister Mih’thra kissing in secret. Not wanting to compromise his friendship with Blue, he keeps it to himself but still urges Mih’thra to be careful.

During his adolescent years, Ry’del, affected by Blue’s own rebellious side, started getting himself into trouble. At first, it was the small things, lying and keeping small secrets from Keeper Deshanna. Or drinking to oblivion with Blue in the forest. After a while, Ry’del, along with Blue would come back to the camp very late at night. At times they would disappear for days and come back battered from an unsuccessful hunt or lugging around big game they hunted from the far corners of the Free Marches.

Then, after some time, Blue planned to leave for Ferelden and invited Ry’del to go with him.

> _“Why don’t you come with me?” Blue asks quietly in the darkness.”I think you’ll like it in Ferelden. We could go hunt, and help people along the way.” Blue has always wanted to be a hero._
> 
> _“Come with me, I need my bestest friend if I were to keep my head!” He grins, eyes so blue even in the dark._
> 
> _I am frightened by the idea, so I refuse. “Ferelden is your place, ma’falon. The clan is mine._

Blue left for Ferelden alone. At the age of seventeen, he received a letter:

> _My Dearest Ry,_
> 
> _Perhaps the Maker will be kind and let me live on with your Creators that I may see you again._
> 
> _Give my beloved Mih’thra my love and apologies. I could not keep my promise._
> 
> _With my heart full of love,_
> 
> _Blue_  

Shortly, Ry’del learned of Blue’s passing—killed during the Battle of Denerim. Blue’s death would affect Ry’del much later in his early adult years.

 

**.18-20yrs [Adulthood I]**

When Ry’del turned eighteen, he refused to get his vallaslin—fearing the pain that came with it. Also, deep inside, he knew he wasn’t ready. To escape the feeling of disappointment from the others in the clan, he would disappear for days on end, hunting alone or spending time in the cities drinking. Ry’del also confronted his grief over Blue’s death. Trying to deal with his grief, he leaves the Lavellan clan and finds comfort in cities. At one point, he was approached by a human mage, Aklios.

> _The human’s name was Aklios. He smiled at the elf. A smile that was more than hello. But, oh, the elf doesn’t understand these things, so he smiles back. So bright, without even knowing. The man whose name is Aklios is smitten. Fluttering smiles on his hard face. Walks over, with strides of confidence. You will be mine, his steps whisper. You are mine, his smile screams._
> 
> _The man named Aklios doesn’t speak words. He moves, touch rough in places, soft in some. The elf doesn’t understand these things. He needs words, blunt and sure. What is a hand to a shoulder but friendship—like Blue._
> 
> _“Look at that Ry, a bear—how much do you think it’s fur will fetch for?”_
> 
> _What is a hand through hair but familial—like Keeper Deshanna._
> 
> _“Hush now, hush now. People die easily, but you will save them”._

Aklios’ interest in Ry’del burned a passion in him that he had not felt for a long time. It was, however, a tumultuous and aggressive relationship. Love between the two was purely physical--if it could be called love at all. Battered and pained after every time they slept together, Ry’del became disillusioned with the relationship, triggered by rereading the letter from Blue, and slipped out of Aklios bedroom and simply never returned.

> _This is not love, ma vhenan. Ma serannas, ir tel’him_. _He kisses Aklios on his hard face and slips into the dark, accepting the cold, the numbness in his fingers, the death of Blue, and the aching hole in his heart._

Ry’del returned to the Lavellan Clan fueled with a new outlook on life. The Keeper welcomed him back warmly.

> _When pain makes a home in your heart, sometimes we must claw it out to make it feel better. But you will be left wide open. Heal yourself da’mi, but don’t let yourself harden so much you lose the sun in your eyes._

The pressure on Ry’del to get his vallaslin grows and finally, at the last cusps of his nineteenth year, he goes through the ritual, but not before begging Keeper Deshanna to not embed the ink so deeply. Ry’del was able to complete the ritual but he disappeared into the woods after to cry out the pain. He returned, however, with the pelt of a great bear and became a fully-fledged hunter.

> _It is done. I have done what the clan wants. Enough of my nonsense. The Keeper claims I am destined for a fate bigger than myself. Let them believe it, and let me live peacefully in my forests. It is done. I am done._
> 
>  

**.21-24yrs [Adulthood II]**

Ry’del Lavellan becomes the protector and provider for the clan. And he provided well, being able to bring bigger game and better furs from his hunts. The clan became known by merchants to have the best merchandise around. Some human hunters have even asked to hunt with Ry’del to find out what the secret to getting the best game was. There were a few--humans and elves alike, however, who became hostile and launched attacks on either the clan or singled out Ry’del. These fights would force the clan to pick up and move somewhere else.

Fighting people tends to get him down believing that people only fight and kill because someone said so--or they were not thinking clearly due to circumstances. These moral beliefs come into play when he gets chosen as the Inquisitor.

> _Sometimes anger boils in me, I could burn all those around me. But I understand, there are feelings so powerful it could sway you towards a path you do not want. You do not want this. You do not want to fight me, shemlen. Look within yourselves and try to overcome it. If you cannot see it in your heart to walk away from this senseless violence, know you will leave bloody and beaten._

Ry’del tries to end fights with people as quickly as possible but not before trying to talk them down--which rarely works. As a result, Ry’del has made it a habit to take down obvious aggressors quickly by attacking first or avoiding weaker warriors altogether.

His growing stress as protector and provider for the clan developed a tremor in his hands during times of great stress. To try and appease it, he would clench his fists tightly or squeeze his fingers with his other hand. When it becomes bad enough, he would purposely seek out dangerous hunts.

 

> _I wonder if Atven can feel the tremors in my hand as he bandages my wounds. If he does, he give no notice, but he asks questions._
> 
> _“Are you sleeping alright?”_
> 
> _“How do you feel?”_
> 
> _“Would you like to talk?”_
> 
> _“Are you eating enough?”_
> 
> _“Take a break from the hunt brother, the clan is well stocked.”_
> 
> _I quell his worries with a smile._

At some point before his twenty second year, Ry’del met a mage elf named Shaeren. He had saved her from buying bad merchandise from another elven vendor and offered to get her what she needed. The two become involved in a whirlwind romance to the point where Mih’thra became concerned for her brother.

Shaeren was an elf with a lot of ambition and wanted to become more than just a mage in a clan. She became quickly bored with Ry’del’s lifestyle, disappointed in his lack of ambition. Shaeren wanted to see the world, travel to Orlais and publish literary greats. Still, she stuck with him, because despite everything he loves her and how can she dismiss his love that burns like the sun?

But it was not enough.

> _“I’m going to Orlais, I must.”_
> 
> _Shaeren, a woman, knows all the words, it’s beautiful. The mask is melting now. Words are cloying, sharp, scrapes peach skin and leaves it to bleed._
> 
> _“My Ry’del, use your words.”_
> 
> _The elf doesn’t understand these things. He knows so little words, they caress pale skin. Shaeren, a woman, shudders and coils in disgust._

They part ways and remain friends. Ry’del writes to her at times, and her replies are few but long.

 

**.25yrs [The Conclave]**

_It is done. I have done what the clan wants. Enough of my nonsense. The Keeper claims I am destined for a fate bigger than myself. Let them believe it, and let me live peacefully in my forests. It is done. I am done._

_But the clan asks for more. More than I could ever provide._

_“You are strong, da’mi. With a head for matters and a soul that understands how death feels. This is your destiny and for you to ignore it wastes your potential.”_

_I go, head held high with a smile. I cannot let them know the hole in my heart has grown wider, I fear it would swallow me. Embracing my sister, my brothers, I give them kisses. I go and fulfill my destiny and I shall not return._

_The Conclave is all talk of politics, disagreements. There are times of peace, but still, tempers flare and I am so tired. I will write a letter and I shall leave Lavellan behind. Let them think me dead, bested by a templar or a mage. It is rather I break their hearts with my death than my failures._

**_I am surrounded in green, the world disappears before my eyes. I am bested._ **

 

 


	2. Relationships: Aklios

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lavellan meets a man and his name is Aklios.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Rape/Non-Con, Abusive relationship, sexual abuse

**9:34 Dragon**

**_Meeting._ **

His green eyes stare at me, have I offended him? But the man smiles, friendly and kind. My defenses lower and I return his smile. He raises an eyebrow and walks towards me with a confidence seen in nobles—Blue had the same walk. The man sits next to me by the bar, giving me more smiles, white teeth flashing, eyes twinkling. He says nothing, but presses his arm to mine. We sit there in silence, his skin is cold and I shudder.

We meet again and again, for drinks and silence. He says very little. But I learn what I can. His name is Aklios—a Ferelden mage. I learn he has seen violence and death. I learn he has a hole in his heart and I tell him I wish I could fill it.

Then he kisses me. Slow and rough. He mutters his apologies after, and confesses his attraction. I hesitate, I don’t understand attraction, but I understood love. So I ask him, “are you in love?”

This time he uses words, “yes. I am in love. With how you walk, with your hands, and your lips, and your eyes, I love all about you.”

Words always catch me off guard, so I say, “ _ma vhenan_.”

**_Love._ **

I curl up in Aklios’ bed, feeling the bruises forming on my hips. It hurts so much. I am sure I am bleeding from Aklios’ rough thrusts. My muscles start aching and I know I will feel it even worse in the morning. I want to cry. Why did this love hurt so much?

But then Aklios hands dances on my skin, and I feel better, enjoying the cold that spread through my body. His hands caresses me all over, hand so close to my cock. I wish he wouldn’t want to make love again. I am so tired. I feel him pressing himself against me, feeling the hardness of his manhood.

“Please, _ma vhenan_ ,” I whisper, turning to face him. I press my lips to his hard face. “I can’t.”

He says nothing and kisses me with an open mouth, hands wandering. “ _Please_ ,” I whine, pushing him away. “I can’t, I _can’t._ ”

“Fine,” he grunts, wrapping me around in his large arms. I relax, but then— _Maker_. He tugs on my cock until I’m hard, whispering vulgarities into my ear. His own manhood slips between my thighs and he moves roughly, pressing my thighs down for his own pleasure. I will have bruises there too. My body grows hot and I am spilling my seed into his hand. He smears it on my stomach and trails kisses on my neck and shoulder as he finishes between my thighs.

“You’re body is so beautiful,” Aklios sucks the skin on my neck. He gets off me and quickly falls asleep by my side. I hate myself for doing so, but I move myself away from him, as close to the edge of the bed as I could. I cannot prove it, but I know Aklios laces his touches with healing spells.

His touches are colder than I thought.

I let the pain spread through me and that night, I did not sleep.

**_Goodbye._ **

I cannot touch his skin, because I know it will blind me from the truth. I do not sleep by his side anymore. I do not sleep at all. I read Blue’s letter again and again, the paper thin and fragile.

_My Dearest Ry,_

_I love you dearly, and I only hope that you harbor the same love for me. Give Mih’thra my love and apologies. I could not keep my promise._

_With my heart full of love,_

_Blue_

My heart swells, full and heavy. I cry into my hands. My body hurts more and more everyday. Love should not hurt so much. I realize I must leave.

 _This is not love, ma vhenan. Ma serannas, ir tel’him_ . _He kisses Aklios on his hard face and slips into the dark, accepting the cold, the numbness in his fingers, the death of Blue, and the aching hole in his heart._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love should not always hurt, my friends. 
> 
> Visit Love is Respect if you need to talk to someone. (http://www.loveisrespect.org/for-yourself/contact-us/)


End file.
